Wow! Talk About Wake Up Call

Last Tuesday I went back to MNCOME to get evaluated and realized that I had actually gained 5 pounds since I had Adalyn, that is pathetic.  Well, I talked to a nutritionist and we figured out my problem is that I don't eat during the day, but I drink pop and then when I come home at night I eat.  Sometimes, more than one serving because I am starving.  Well, my body then is harboring everything because it doesn't know when the next time it is going to be fed.

We talked portion control and small servings throughout the entire day.  That night I went to the store and got some healthy foods to snack on.  When I got home, my wonderful and supportive hubby helped me count out the correct servings and put them in snack bags for me so I have no excuse to eat more than what I am suppose to.

Wednesday was day 1 again.  So for the last week, I have been doing amazing with grabbing the little baggies in the morning, grabbing my lunch and heading out the door.  I even set my phone with multiple alarms so that it goes off and tells me to have a snack, lunch, ect.  That way if I get wrapped up in work it will remind me that I need to eat.  The one Marine that I had talked about before, the one who wants me to do IsaGenics (???) has been really supportive.  She and I went on about a little under 2 mile walk around the base today, and it wasn't at a leisure pace either, I was sweating by the time I was done and my face looks like a tomato!  I thought that was it, but nope, once we came back in the building I was walking towards my office and she goes, oh no, we aren't done here.  We went into the weight room and she showed me some great exercises to do.  I am not sure I will be able to move away from my desk later!  It feels so good though to be back at it.

So, if gaining weight back wasn't enough of a wake up call, then this sure was...

I had my review with my boss, who is the Commanding Officer of the unit I work for.  She is only here once a month during drill, so she doesn't see me a lot.  Well, when I went into her office and sat down, she asked me how I was doing and said that she thinks I am stressed.  She then goes, "You have gained a lot of weight since I have seen you last" OUCH!  I didn't really know how to respond!  To top it off, when the meeting was over she goes "Lose some weight!  I am looking forward to seeing the progress these coming drills and it better be going positive versus negative" Um...OK!  I just had to tell myself that she is a Marine and she is used to talking to Marines, not civilians.  Still it hurt, but I think it was what I needed to hear.  Someone other than myself or my family telling me it.  They will love me no matter what, but an outside person having the balls to tell it to my face, that is what I needed.  Made me wonder what everyone else is thinking.

So...here is my good news...

In ONE WEEK, I am down SIX POUNDS!!!!!!  Woot Woot!!!  Baby steps!  Baby steps :)

HELL YES!

The No Junk Food Challenge

Well, looks like I am back where I started...damn it!  No time is better than the present so lets get to it.  I am starting something I found on Pinterest and am actually really excited to try it out.  It is called "The No Junk Food Challenge"

The Rules:
No chocolate
No candy
No biscuits or cookies
No cake, doughnuts or muffins
No pastries
No white bread
No chips
No fast food
No nutella, peanut butter or other naughty spreads
No ice cream
(this last one I added...)
No pop!

FOR 21 DAYS!!!  Remember, it takes 21 days to form a habit.

This challenge will take place from:
Tuesday August 21st to Monday September 10th

I will be sure to update as these next 3 weeks of hell consume me!  Just kidding (kinda)

I am SICK and TIRED of being SICK and TIRED. I know, cliche, but it is the fricken truth.  I hate it.  I saw a motivational poster yesterday that said "Stop complaining about something you aren't trying to change" That hurt, it hit me hard, that is where my problem lies.  I complain, I cry, I get depressed, I feel sorry about myself, I mope around, I sulk, yada yada yada...it is almost like I think that someone or something is going to miraculously change it, that I am going to wake up and realize it was a bad dream or something.  Stupid Theresa!

There is this program that I really want to try but don't have the funds for it right now.  It is called Isagenix.  One of the Marines that I work with does it and it sounds really interesting.  It is a natural detox/cleanse. You can do a 9 day cleanse or a 30 day cleanse.  I would LOVE to do the 30 day cleanse but it just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me right now.

Anyone know any cheap detox plans?  Foods?  Drinks?

I AM THE CHANGE.  I am the KEY to ME!

I need to learn to take time for ME, I need to find a way to balance being a mom to kids with special needs and just needs in general, to being a working mom, to being a wife (really need to find that one too, my poor hubby, I am just to exhausted to find time for us) to being Theresa.  The girl I need to find, BIG TIME.

Well, welcome to my journey again! 

Enjoy the ride, I know I will! (probably not during but will after!)

Muah!

Day 1 of Morning Bike Rides

Since I have an amazing hubby who knows how bad I want to get back in shape for my birthday this year he bought me a bike!!  I love it :0)  The seat is killing my behind but I just have to suck it up and wait for my tushy to get smaller! LOL  Ain't she a beauty!

This morning started the first day of my morning bike ride routine that I have decided to do.  Tim doesn't have a bike so it doesn't work very well for us to be able to go together bike riding so I am on my own, which means that I have to make sure that I stay motivated to do it. The alarm went off at 5:30am this morning and I told Tim to hit the snooze button and he did but he mumbled half asleep, "you only get one snooze" so I knew that I needed to get up and get moving!  By 6am I was out the door riding my bike. I am not sure exactly how far I rode, I will have to clock it tonight when we go to Benjamin's soccer game but it took a little less than 20 minutes. I know that doesn't seem like a lot but Tim and I agreed that I need to take it slow in the beginning so I don't burn myself out and get discouraged and not want to do it.  It felt great, it was hot and humid but it still felt great to get up and do it.  It helped with getting moving in the morning too.

Tonight, I am starting Jillian Michaels' Ripped in 30 video.  It is suppose to be like the 30 day shred but you do it for 4 weeks and there is 4 workouts so a new work out each week.  My hubby will be joining me too!

Hope you all have a great week!

Let's Try This Again

Welcome Back! To myself and to all of you who are still finding the time to follow me :)

I am going to be brutally honest with myself and with everyone who is reading this...I have sucked :) I have not been doing what I wanted to be doing, nor have I been working out or eating like I have been wanting to. The only person to blame is ME! I know that I have had a lot of people tell me that "you have had so much stuff going on in your life right now, you have every right to have slacked" um...NO! I should have been working out my stress not eating it. Shame on me!

So, here I am, back at it. Tim is still supporting me 100% which is great but I feel bad for the poor guy. He hears me complain every day if not 10 times a day about how I hate what I look like, I hate how I feel, I want to cry when I go to get dressed, ect... Still he smiles at me, wraps his arms around me and tells me that I will get there, he will help me get there and it is going to be ok and that he loves me for me. Love that man!

I have made a promise to myself that I am done with pop, diet and regular. I know this sounds horrible but I will be starting that one tomorrow (only because I have drank pop today) but tomorrow is a different story. I am going to be starting what I did when I was on slimgenics and drinking my 80 ounces of water a day instead. I am going to try what I have seen on pinterest about freezing "real" fruit juice into ice cubes and throw that into my water every day to give it some little pizazz!

I am going to start back up with the Jillian Michaels too, hopefully I can get that started back up tonight. I am really wanting to get a jump on this weight loss again, I know that it isn't always easy to see when you start losing even just a little but I need to just do it. Hannah's 5th birthday is coming up on the 7th of July and we will be having family in town visiting. There is a certain person who has said some very hurtful things about me, such as "we are waiting for the big fat one" and other mean things who will be in attendance at her birthday party so if I can even look a tad bit different (for the better) from Benjamin's party that was last weekend to when she comes back again, that will be a great way to throw it in her face! (I think most of you know who I am talking about!)

Thank you for following me on this journey again. I appreciate all the support :)  Again, I am open for advice, recipies, working out (that is free!) and anything else people want to lend me!

LETS DO THIS!

Here we go AGAIN!

Welcome back to the WORKOUT blog!  I know I kinda lost track on what this blog was suppose to be about with everything going on with Adalyn and Benjamin :)

So...to follow Adalyn's journey please go to:
www.caringbridge.com/visit/adalynnace

Quick update on Benjamin though because I know people are probably wondering what is going on with him :)

Benjamin had his appointment on April 19th and the ENT said that he needed to have a CT Scan with contrast to see if they could see the mass a little better since the antibiotics did not take it away.  We had the scan on April 20th and I received the results that evening: there is a mass, cannot tell if it is in the gland or in a lymph node at this time.  Tonsils are very large and adenoids look to have grown back.  So, we went in to the ENT again on April 26th and had him scheduled for surgery.  He will have surgery in two weeks on May 21st.  They will be removing the mass (along with the lymph node and gland if it is affected) and sending it off to pathology to find out what exactly it is if it is anything.  He will also be having his tonsils removed as well as his adenoids again.  He also has a tube in his left ear that hasn't fallen out after 2 years :)  I figured if I am going to have a week of hell with the mass then might as well take everything at one time...no point making him go through it more than once right :)  He will have a small cut under his chin that the ENT said shouldn't be that noticeable.  Plus he is a boy, it adds character right :)

Now onto me! 

I am beyond stressed!  I did lose weight while Adalyn was in the hospital for those 10 days.  I am not sure what my weight is right now, I haven't had the guts to stand on the scale.  I do know that I lost weight because pants I couldn't put on comfortably before the hospital stay fit by the time I left :)  yay!  I am back to taking the Phentermine that I was taking before so hopefully that will help me out.  I got word that my kiddos got split up for soccer this summer since they had so many kids sign up so they split the girls and boys up so we will have soccer Monday-Thursday every week until August :)  Wow!  Good thing it is at McMorrow Field which isn't too far from my house so I think a couple times a week we will be walking to and from soccer. That will be a great way to get in some exercise :)

Thanks for sticking with me!

Have a wonderful day!

Strength of an Egg

Tomorrow morning is the day that we find out what the next steps are with Benjamin.  I was helping him get dressed this morning because for some reason "it was just too hard to get dressed by myself, mom can you help me!"  That guy is just too smart, he knows how to pull on mommy's heart strings, so of course I walked over to him in the living room and started helping him get dressed, all the while he had this cheesy little smirk on his face, he knew he had won me over!  Yup, the award for push-over of the year goes to mom!  Anyways while I was getting his shirt on he looked up and I noticed that the lump has gotten bigger since I felt it a couple days ago, he looked at me and goes "my bump is still there mommy, I can still feel it" it broke my heart but it made me just keep pushing for tomorrow more and more.

I had a friend send me something the other day and I thought it fit perfectly so I wanted to share it with you all:

Parents of children with a potentially serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true. It is more like the strength of an egg.  An egg, you ask? Yes, an egg.  If you think about an egg, you will see the point I make.

An egg has a polished smooth outer appearance with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be as smooth and solid as the outside. Most children, at some point in their lifetime, are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand an enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an even slightly different angle will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed inside, will come spilling out, and the no longer perfect shell will be crushed. Then the shell looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.

That is where parents of children with potentially serious conditions are more like eggs than rocks. A rock is solid all the way through. If you tried to break a rock, it would be almost impossible. If successful, one would find that there is nothing inside but more rock. It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. These parents are not solid all the way through. They hurt, they fear, they cry, they hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered.

Balancing an egg while running a household, going for doctor visits, keeping the family together and holding onto the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed. Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence. Unlike Humpty Dumpty though, parents of kids with potentially serious conditions will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again.

I thought that fit perfectly because I have had so many people tell me that I am such a strong mom and that I am holding up so perfectly and that they can't believe how well I am doing.  Well the truth is, I do break down.  Just ask my husband and ask my parents.  Those three are AMAZING and sometimes they just let me cry and let it out.  They are always there though to say something encouraging and my dad is great at getting me to laugh.  I made sure to put on the saying I just posted potentially serious conditions because we are not sure what is going on yet but they have the potential to be serious.  Either way, knowing that something is going on with your child that is just not right has to be one of the hardest things to face as a parent.  Wondering the what ifs, the hows, and the whys, that no one can answer for me right now are the most daunting questions I have ever been faced with.  So yes, right now my strength is that of an egg and today it feels like it could be shattered but tomorrow morning at 10am when I am holding my precious 3 1/2 year old son's hand as we walk into the clinic it will still be the strength of an egg but it will be the strength that will not allow it to shatter so my little monkey will see how brave mommy is and that will help him be brave too.

Thanks for listening :)

Gotta Have Faith

This is going to be a random post that has nothing to do with working out but I needed to share this and I would rather share it on here than on Facebook since I know the hype of my blog has worn down so there will be less people reading this now than there were when I first started writing this.

Have you ever wondered why things in your life happen the way that they do?  Why you were dealt the hand that you have in this game of life? When is enough really going to be enough?  What is going to come of the future?

I have been thinking those questions a lot lately and I am trying to tell myself that I just need to have faith.  I need to trust that everything is going to work out just fine and that everything will soon fall into place.  Now you all are wondering, "seriously, what the heck is going on!"

Well in January, my monkey man Benjamin, had a lump on his neck.  At first Tim and I thought that it was just a swollen lymph node and thought nothing of it but it wasn't going down.  We brought him into his doctor and he ran some blood tests since he thought that maybe he had mono since he had an enlarged spleen, well they all came back normal so we were told that he possibly had "Cat Scratch Fever"  We thought nothing of it since when we looked it up there was nothing that would cause any serious problems.  The lump never fully went away, it did however get smaller but you could definitely still feel it if you touched his neck.  Well in March it came back again and this time it was larger than it was before.  I again brought him back to the pediatrician because now we were worried.  His doctor thought that it would be a good thing to bring him to the dentist to make sure that there wasn't an infection in his tooth since blood tests showed nothing.  Off to the dentist the next morning and NOTHING.  We were then referred to the ENT and they had us do an ultrasound before we went and saw him.  We went there and it came back that he had swelling and fluid in his sub mandibular gland (ones located right along your jaw line) we went to the ENT and he felt them and said that he was concerned since Benjamin is only 3 (4 next month, wow time flies!) and that rarely children have issues with their sub mandibular gland and that it could signify something serious.  He wanted to do a strong and long course of antibiotics for 20 days and have him come back.  That way he could just see if there happened to be an infection that was harboring in his gland that was not wanting to show up on blood work.  Well we finished the antibiotics and lo behold there is STILL the lump...again it isn't as large but it didn't go away.  We go back on Thursday to hear what the next steps are.  The ENT had stated that if he feels even the slightest bit of a lump than the whole gland needs to be removed and biopsied.  So I am a nervous wreck with that.

Now onto my other stress...this one falls under the whole "When is enough really going to be enough?"  We all know that Tim and I have a beautiful baby girl Adalyn that was born in December. Well she is still our perfect and beautiful little princess but there are some little things that are going on.  When I was 8 months pregnant my stomach would shudder and vibrate.  It was nothing that I had ever felt with Hannah and Benjamin.  I would tell my parents, my OB and Tim that it felt like she was having a seizure.  Well, no one knew what to say or do (not that there would have been much they could have done) but it would have been nice for someone to acknowledge it.  When she was born in the hospital she was always twitching and moving her left side of the body, I brought it up to a nurse and she thought nothing of it.  When she was 5 weeks old and was put in the ICU for her RSV she had an episode of becoming stiff as a board and arching her back while making weird high pitched sounds and turning her head to the right.  I started crying because I thought she was having a seizure.  The doctor looked at her and stated it was reflux. Well Adalyn has never gotten better since then.  She still arches her back, she gets stiff, she cries uncontrollably and she is very jerky.  She flails her arms and legs uncontrollably and puts her limbs in weird positions.  I finally got fed up with hearing it was just reflux and I called Gillette Children's and got in touch with a Neurologist.  2 weeks ago she had a 4 hour Video EEG completed and it showed that she may have abnormal brain waves but so far no seizures so praise the Lord on that.  She didn't pass the Neurological Exam so there is for sure something neurologically wrong.  She has increased tone in her upper and lower extremities which may be Cerebral Palsy and she does have abnormal movements.  They are thinking she may in fact had seizures in-utero and had a stroke in-utero.  She goes for a sedated MRI on her brain on 4/24.  We will then see if she does have brain damage and figure out what the next plans are.

I just want to break down and scream.  I have had numerous people tell me that there is a reason why God gave Tim and I the children that we have and I fully believe that, no doubt in my mind about that.  Whatever Hannah, Benjamin and Adalyn need they will get from Tim and I.  We have shown that with Benjamin with his Autism Spectrum Disorder that he has, we got him to therapy every week that he needed it.  Whatever therapies that Adalyn needs we will make sure she gets there.  It is still hard though.  It still makes me ask those questions I posted earlier.  I cannot help but feel like I failed as a mother, that somehow these are my fault.  If you all could just say a prayer for my family that would be great.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I will wear what I pin on Pinterest!

For those who follow me on Pinterest you may have seen outfits that I have been posting that are freaking adorable!  That is my motivation, I will wear what I pin on Pinterest!!!  If it is the last thing that I do :)  haha

Many people have asked how things are going because I haven't posted in awhile, I apologize about that.  Things are going pretty well, haven't been working out as much as I would have hoped I would but still making sure I watch what I am eating and will get back to the grind of working out again.  Things have been VERY STRESSFUL in my life with the kiddos and such but I am trying my best to funnel my stress into useful things that I can use to my advantage, such as working out :)

I haven't weighed myself in awhile because it usually just ends up making me pissed off or I keep stepping on and off of it at least 10 times just to see if the number will miraculously go down :)  Kinda like when you take a pregnancy test and you see that it is indeed positive but you know that you had to buy the box of 3 just in case so you take all 3 of the tests just to see if you had a defective one!  That is how I am with the scale, so I decided that I will weigh myself once a month (maybe 2 times) otherwise I am going to just go with how my clothes are fitting.  Clothes are starting to feel looser so that must be a good sign, right?!

I am also going to start measuring myself, that will help me with visualizing how I am indeed losing weight. It is hard for me to notice because I am with myself everyday!

That picture pretty much sums it all up, along with "do it so you are around for your children!"  Well hope you all have a fantastic day!

Running is going good

I am on my second week of the Couch to 5K running plan and so far things are going pretty well.  My mom and I went on Monday night and froze our butts off and then the rain and wind got going but we laughed and said that we were hard core since we were out there doing it :-)

I felt bad though because I couldn't continue running the entire thing because of my foot.  I had surgery on it in November 2010 and they had to fuze my joint together so my arch no longer can bend or collapse.  I am just trying to get it back to full strength and it needs to remember that I can and will run on it.  I know that once I lose more weight though it will not hurt as much since there won't be as much weight bearing on my foot.

My mom mentioned to me on Monday night that she can see that this time is different, that I have the determination to change this time.  I agree with that also.  There is something that just clicked in my mind this time and made me realize that I want and need to change my life and my weight.

I am going to a yoga class hopefully on Saturday so that will be a new experience.  I have never done yoga before but I am looking forward to it.  I heard from my son's teacher that it is quite the work-out :)

Hope you all have a great day!

Couch to 5K Begins!

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile!  Things can get a little hectic in my house at times :)  I finished up my 3 kickboxing classes last week, it was a blast.  A lot of work but it was fun.  I loved thta it was an hour workout that didn't seem like an hour at all.  My mom came with to the last two classes and that made it even more enjoyable.

She kept saying to me that she was proud of me and that she was going to get her work-out buddy back again :)  Well Mom, I am back!

Tonight my mom and I are starting the "Couch to 5K" program.  She downloaded the app on her phone that tells us when to run, walk, cool-down, ect.  I am pretty excited to begin.  It is a  running/walking program that will have you running 3.2 miles regularly in 2 months.  Sounds good to me!  I know that I am young still (almost 27!) so I am hoping that my body is able to jump back into the running and it is just a matter of getting my endurance back.  The nice thing is that running isn't new to my body, yes it may have been awhile since I have done it but it isn't totally new.  I used to run 20+ miles a week before ;)  I got this!

I am really wanting to cut my hair, it is really getting annoying but I am holding true to what I have said before...I will not cut my hair until I get below 200.  I have 10 pounds to go and then I will be posting a picture of my new do.

I am so thankful that I have my mom to help work-out with me.  Tim still does but it is nice to have another woman to work out with too.  My mom and I used to run together all the time so it will be nice to do it again.  We would always have some great talks while we walked/ran.  She is truly one of my best friends and I thank God for her every day!  It is a great stress reliever and Lord knows I need a stress reliever in my life right now.

I found out a couple weeks ago that I am unable to work from home 2x/wk like I was before.  I was going to do this until September so Tim and I could save on daycare a little bit and it was a great way to be able to spend time with my baby since she is my last.  Well, as we all know, the military loves to change their minds and I was told to come back 5 days, which means 5 days of daycare x 3 kids= EXPENSIVE!  But worth it!  I LOVE the daycare they go to so Tim and I just need to become frugal and omit little things here and there until September when my oldest (still my baby!) heads to kindergarten.  Tear!  So that is a big stress in my life right now so it is very nice that working out with my mom is FREE!

I have officially become addicted to PINTREST (more than I already was!) and there are a lot of great ideas for workouts on there too that you can do in the comfort of your own home so I am looking at those too.

Still going strong on NO FAST FOOD!

Have a great day everyone!

Kickboxing=Success

Yesterday night I decided to go to a kickboxing class with one of my friends, I was scared but I still was going to do it, especially since I spent $20 on 3 classes I for sure needed to go :-)  Well, it was a BLAST!  It was a very tough workout but it was fun.  I really enjoyed it and it didn't seem like it was an hour long workout at all.  It was nice to get out of the house and enjoy some "me" time too.

I encourage everyone to try this class...it is located in Saint Paul and you can sign up online at http://www.ilovekickboxing.com/ and get 3 classes for $19.99 and they will even give you a free pair of gloves when you come!  If you end up becoming a member after those 3 sessions make sure to mention my name :)  I have my mom signing up too!  Hopefully I find a money tree somewhere after these 3 sessions so I can find a way to keep going after.

I am extremely sore today but I am still moving so that is good.  I keep trying to get up from my desk to walk around every hour or so.  That way I don't become stiff.  Tim and I did Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred on Monday night too and then kickboxing last night.  I am not sure if I will be able to do it again tonight but if not then I will do a stretching video or something.  Still need to make sure I am doing something.  There is NO QUITTING!

The Marines at work are trying to get me to work out in the gym with them during the day but I told them I am still a little self conscious to be working out with them.  They told me that no one would be laughing at me because it is the fact that I am actually in the gym and doing something so that is all that matters.  We will see if I get the courage soon!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful week!  Have a great day!

Down 2 pounds!

As the title states: I have lost 2 pounds so far!  Not alot but hey it is 2 pounds that I don't want or need :)

I did Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred last night with Tim...owie!  I can feel it today :)  Which is a good thing!  I remember in High School one of my coaches (who I wasn't too fond of during high school at all!) Coach Geotz had told us that when we are sore after working out and running then it means that we did something.  It means that we worked the correct muscles and that we pushed ourselves past our comfort zone.  Well I can honestly say that Jillian pushed me way beyond my comfort zone!  It was so nice that Tim was doing it with me, even though we both know that he doesn't need to work out ;)  Whenever I felt like I needed to quit or stop, he was right behind me saying "come on baby you can do this, keep going!"  It was nice to have that encouragement and support.

We are going to do it everyday until we have completed the video.  We decided that we are going to try and do each level 10 days in a row.  Hopefully by day 10 I will have been able to do more than I was on Day 1 for level 1!

I also made myself a delicious Protein Smoothie this morning for my drive into work.  It was pretty good :)  I used vanilla protein powder, frozen strawberries and bananas, and milk.  The kids were so intrigued by it :)  They were giggling while I was making them and everything!  They are too cute.  I do have to make fun of myself though, so I am a virgin at this whole protein powder stuff, so when I went to open the container to put in my scoop of it I about screamed.  That scoop is HUGE!  Here I was thinking that it was going to be like the size of Adalyn's formula scoop but oh no not at all!  Tim laughed at me.

Tomorrow I am going to a kickboxing class in Saint Paul with one of my very good friends.  I am nervous as can be but I am excited.  Especially when I get a text message from Jamie yesterday evening that says "Make sure to wear comfortable clothes.  Bring tons of water and also make sure to have ibuprofen.  Take it for 2 days after because you are going to hurt!"  Nice, just what I need.  Again though I think about what Coach Geotz said to me and I will push through the pain...I may not be able to move come Wednesday but I will have done it!

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

1 week into NO FAST FOOD!

It has been a week since I decided to give up Fast Food and I would have to say we have been doing really well with it :)  I have also been really good at making sure if I have been drinking pop that it has been only diet pop!!!  Go me!

I do have to be honest though...I know that Tim and I had said that we were going to start working out with doing P90X and everything but we haven't gotten to that point yet :(  The kids and us all have colds and I have been feeling like I was going to literally cough up a lung everyday so we decided that it would just drag us all down even more if we tried to add an exercise routine on top of feeling like crap.  Plus, Miss Adalyn got a really bad cold herself too so she hasn't been sleeping the greatest which wears out mommy and daddy too.

I am starting to feel human again though so even if Tim is not feeling up to the P90X then I will just have to do something else myself :)  I was thinking about starting the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred again.  I have tried it before and really liked it because it wasn't a "long" workout and with having a 3 month old and everthing sometimes all I get is 20-30 minutes of "free" time :)  Not that I am complaining at all!

I took adavantage of the wet heavy snow we got yesterday and went out and shoveled some of it that Tim didn't get.  It wasn't a lot but it is the fact that I got out there and did it.  I am feeling it in my lower back though :(

I also got some great tips from one of my dear college roommates...Angie :)  She looks AMAZING :)  She also struggled with her weight but looking at her now you would never have thought that!  She saw my blog and wrote to me and said that she was willing to help me out by giving me some advice on what she did.  I really appreciated that too Ang!

I wish I could get a membership at the gym but I know that is just not financially possible at this moment but maybe some day it will be.  There are some great exercises that she did but they will not work to be done in my living room...I actually need weight machines :(   She did give me tips though on eating, she followed the "Body For Life" recommendations to help plan her meals and said that she has a "free day" on Sunday so she doesn't feel like she is totally depriving herself of a treat every now and then.  I am going to do that also and hubby is on board with me!  So Sunday is going to be our free day, the day that we can endulge in our sweet tooth!  It will be a nice way to tell ourselves that yes we may want ice cream on Tuesday but it will taste even sweeter come Sunday!

I didn't weigh in on Saturday because I was feeling under the weather so I will weigh in this coming Saturday.  I just need to remind myself that it isn't going to happen immediately and that there will be ups and downs.  Sometimes you gain in the beginning before your body realizes that you are not starving and it stops holding onto every calorie you put in your body!

Have a wonderful day everyone!

Day 6: Lent Begins

Happy Ash Wednesday!  Ever since I could remember I have given up something for Lent, whether it be swearing, chewing gum, drinking pop, ect.  Well I was thinking about things to give up this year and this year it was going to be different because it was going to be something that was going to help with me achieving my ultimate goal:  Be a Skinny Mom :)

So I pondered the idea today and I thought about things that I could give up, I came up with the usual things; swearing, drinking pop, chocolate, sex and so on and so forth.  I thought about each of them and realized that I would be kidding myself if I tried giving up on the last one for sure ;)  Come on have you seen my husband, I mean that would be just pure crazy!  Plus that is physical activity and I need physical activity!!  Although with 3 babies already I probably should consider it a little further ;)  Ok, enough joking, in all seriousness I needed to figure something out, so I thought about things that I do way too much and that I know would be difficult to give up but that it would benefit myself and my family and the result was...FAST FOOD!  It is often times way too easy to just go through the drive-thru when Tim and I don't feel like cooking or I don't feel like packing a lunch for work.  Well what kind of example am I setting for my children???  Not a good one.  Plus what am I doing to my body!

They say it takes 21 days to form a habit, correct?  Well, Lent is 40 days long so that is perfect, by Easter I will have not eaten fast food for 40 days, that will be awesome.  Plus it will save on the ol' pocket book too!

I have been told by countless people that my blog has inspired them and that they cannot believe how honest I am being.  That there is no way that they could be that honest.  I thought to myself and tried to figure out why I am being so honest because yes there are people out there that probably could care less and are gossiping about my weight but I realized that I don't care anymore.  What I care about is getting healthy, having a support system around me and making myself feel accountable for my actions and plans.  I realize that there is no one there watching my every move every second of the day to make sure I don't fail but I do know that there are a lot of people out there that are wanting to know if I can succeed.  Well keep watching, you will see this mom do it!

When I left for the Army I cannot even count how many people thought I would fail, that there was no way a 5' female like me was going to hack it.  I remember my mom and dad coming to my graduation from boot camp and my dad was video taping me and he asked me "what is something you would like to say to every one back home?"  I looked right in that camera and said "I Did It" and I turned away.  I know there are people who think I will fail at this but like I told them before, I will tell them again, I will do it!

I hope that my blog has inspired others to change their habits and health along with me :)

Thank you again for all the positive comments!

Day 4:Survived the Weekend!

Well the weekend is over and I survived all the temptations :)  Saturday was weigh-in day and I was right where I thought I was...216 pounds.  I was guessing when I started this blog but I was correct (at least it wasn't more than what I had thought!)  We bought some girl scout cookies from one of my friend's little girls and I have to say that I have done pretty well, I haven't eaten a lot of them at all.

Sunday was my cousin's open house for Mary Kay products which she had lemonade and cookies at, I politely declined them and just stuck with water :)  She also lives in up-town so parking can be a bear, I ended up having to walk a pretty good distance to get to her place, all while carrying Adalyn in her car seat.  So that was 9 pounds of car seat plus 11 pounds of cuteness :)  So, I got in a little bit of exercise just by walking to her place.  I also received a book from a friend at church called "Working Out Sucks" so I am really looking forward to reading that.  Tim and I are going to start P90X tonight so wish me luck!  We are starting with just the stretching video but let me tell ya when I have tried to do it before with him I was a hurting unit by the time I was half way through the stretching :)

Speaking of working out...I have had a lot of offers from people to become a work out buddy with me at the gym and as much as I would love to do that, with 3 kiddos in daycare, funds are not available to get a membership at a gym :(  I am little sad about that because I know that would really help me with working out because we do not have equipment at home but I am not going to let that stop me!  I have work out videos that I can use.  So, sorry to all of you that wanted me to join the gym with you but Thank You for asking!

Hoping the weather is nice out today since I am home with the kiddos so we can get out and take a walk!  We have my parent's dog for the week so I know he would love to have a walk too!  Have a great day everyone!

Day 1: Little Steps

First off, I just wanted to send out huge THANKS for all the support that has been shown to me so far.  It is amazing and I know that by having support and encouragement all around me it will help me get to where I want to be; to get me back to ME!

Well today was day 1...I know we are only half way through the day but I would have to say that I am feeling pretty darn good.  I am staying very positive and I know that I CAN and WILL do this.

I think one of the things that always caused me to fail when I have tried to lose the weight before is that I would get discouraged because I didn't think I was seeing results fast enough so it just wasn't worth it.  Well now I know that it isn't going to happen overnight (heck if it really was that easy I would have been skinny long time ago!) but I am going to continue pushing...I deserve it.

I also would always try to make drastic changes all at once and then when something would happen I would feel like a failure and give up on everything.  I am not going to let that happen this time.  I know that there needs to be a lot of little steps to get to where I want and need to be.

So my little steps that I took today were...I gave up "whole" pop as my wonderful mom calls it!  I know that giving up pop all together cold turkey would be too hard and I would fail, so I am done with "whole" pop and back to diet.  My hope is to get rid of it all together but I need my caffeine right now :)  I don't drink coffee and I have a 2 1/2 month old remember!

I also took the kids on a walk this afternoon.  It was a gorgeous day out and we needed to go pick Benjamin up from the bus anyways at Pathways so I busted out the stroller, bundled Adalyn up and Hannah and I were on our way to go get Benjamin.  It was such a nice little walk...now I know that it wasn't a far distance by any means but I got out and I walked.  It made the kids so excited to get outside and walk and Adalyn was perfect and slept the whole way in the stroller!  She is such a good baby!
Doesn't she look so cute all snuggled into the stroller!

I am also cutting out one non-water drink today and drinking water in its place.  I will continue to cut out more every day until I am up to drinking only water!  Tim and I are going to start P90X on Monday but we know that it is going to take a lot of stretching before I am ready to do it and he is ok with that, he said we will do the stretching video for a couple weeks before we get into anything else :)  He is really excited to help me out on this journey and he is such an amazing supportive husband and best friend.  I am truly blessed.  Speaking of being blessed, I was reminded yesterday by a friend that I need to remember I am not doing this alone, I need to rely on my faith and my relationship with God, he will always be there to pick me up when I fall, carry me when I am struggling and push me to keep going.  He is an AMAZING GOD!

Thank you again for following me on this journey...tomorrow is weigh in day.  I decided that Saturdays will be the easiest day to weigh in, I am only going to weigh in weekly.

Well Miss Adalyn is wanting some mommy cuddles :)  Good Bye!

Time to get Real

Alright, most of you knew me when I was Tessie, which meant that I was the 5 foot nothing, skinny, track and cross country runner.  Well, boy have things changed :)  I am no longer that skinny girl anymore but I am hoping that changes.  I am hoping that by putting my business and my weight out there it will help me stay accountable, and help me get back to ME!

So, here is my story...

I joined the Army while I was in high school and left off to boot camp 10 days after my senior graduation.  I loved it, it was hard but it was great.  When I came home in November 2003, I was 120 pounds and was a pant size 3 ;-)  I felt good!  Now granted I was still the same weight that I was when I left I went from a size 7/8 to a 3!  Dang!

Then I went off to college!  I was no longer watching what I was eating like I was when I was at boot camp, nope I starting drinking the pop again and wasn't nearly working out as much as I would like to (or at all for that matter).  The weight started creeping up, by the time I left Concordia University (2 years later) I was 160 pounds and a size 11/12.  Ouch!

I met my now husband in 2004, good thing at that time I hadn't put on that much weight, he may not of dated me then!  (Just kidding! I hope!)  We got married in July of 2006...I look at my wedding pictures and I just want to cry (at times I actually do) I was at 172 pounds and a size 14/16.  WTF!

Then came the babies :-)  I love my babies!  I had Hannah in 2007 and my delivery weight was 208 at that time.  I quickly got down to 184 but then we were surprised with finding out that we were having Benjamin (8 weeks after having Hannah!) so that meant that my body was not fully back to itself after having 1 baby and now I was carrying another one.  Well, my body decided that it didn't like me and when I went to deliver Benjamin I was up to 250 pounds...wowza!  I got down to 198 pounds about a year after having Ben but that is the lowest I was ever able to get.  Now granted, I didn't push myself to lose the weight, I didn't eat right and I sure didn't exercise.  Nope, I just felt sorry for myself and kept making every excuse in the book.  I let my weight creep back to 230 again...seriously I must have been blind or dumb.  Tim and I tried to have baby number 3 but started having fertility issues, I knew in the back of my mind it was my weight but I couldn't come to terms with it until I kept seeing those Negative pregnancy tests.  I started watching my calories a lot more at that time (now the biggest problem I have is I LOVE pop and I don't eat enough, so my body harbors it) and I was able to get down to 205 before I got pregnant with Adalyn.  I delivered Adalyn at 240 pounds...I was depressed.  I had a c-section with her which meant no physical activity at all for 6-8 weeks.  Well we are now at 11 weeks since she was born and I have yet to do physical activity...what is wrong with me?!

I am currently at...(I can't believe I am admitting to this) 216 pounds and a size 16/18.  Holy Crap!  Not good, not good at all.

Tim and I have decided that our family is complete and perfect so now I have absolutely no excuse to not get in shape.  No time is better than the present.  I have very energetic 4 1/2 and 3 1/2 year olds and a newborn who will be moving before we know it.  I want to be able to run after them, I want to be around to see them grow up, have kids and enjoy my life.  It isn't fair to them or my husband that I left myself get to the point that I am.  I have gained 96 pounds in 8 1/2 years.  That is 12 pounds a year...well I will be damned if I will let it take 8 1/2 years to get rid of it.  I am hoping that by Adalyn's first birthday I will be back to or very close to 120 pounds.  That is 10 pounds a month...I can do this!!!

So...what am I going to do about it?  I am going to start...Mission: Become a Skinny Mom!  I work for the Marine Corps and today I asked 2 Marines that I work with to help me figure out an exercise plan and they were more than happy to do that for me.

I ask that you please keep all negative comments to youself...it is the last thing that I need to hear.  I would love to hear encouragement, advice, recipies and exercises :-)  Thank you in advance.

Goals

Two blog posts in one day!  Wow...I am on a roll :)

I thought that it would probably be a good idea to put what my goals are so I can look back to them when I feel discouraged.

LONG TERM GOAL:
***Get to 120 pounds by December 3, 2012***

SHORT TERM GOALS:
1. Get below 200 pounds!  I have already decided that I want to cut my hair really bad but I will not allow to cut my hair until I get under 200 pounds...so hopefully soon there will be a post about my new hair cut!  To be completed by April 2012

2. Get to a size 12/14 by Benjamin's 4th Birthday (May 26, 2012)

3. Complete the Couch to 5K program by May 2012

4. Get to 175 pounds by Hannah's 5th Birthday (July 7, 2012)

5. Get to 155 pounds by the time Hannah starts Kindergarten (September 2012)

I know there will be more goals as I progress but this is a good start for now.  If you have any ideas on short term goals I am all ears!